Poem for this month, with notes on the language of #blacklivesmatter
It takes strength to be firm,
It takes courage to be gentle.
It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubt.
It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.
It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on another.
It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.
Author unknown (to me)
I’ve chosen this as my poem for the month, because not only does it invite me to think, but also cry. And so once again I’m crying as I write. The stupid crazy world that does not realise that #blacklivesmatter. That split off unconscious side of us which denies that we are all one system. And as I cry, I come back to the reality that we are not a drop in an ocean as much as each of us is the ocean in a drop.
My second point is that language really matters, as a coach and as a regulator of public life in Scotland (working for the Ethical Standards Commission) I spend a lot of time helping create language that works for all types of leadership (not just men), and speak the truth of the kinds of values and attributes that we need to see on our public body boards. As an organisational facilitator and a consultant, I know that the way that we frame things, the way that we choose to use non-violent communication really has an immediately better impact on others.
For example you can use simple tools like this online gender de-coder which will highlight how gender bias your job add is…. http://gender-decoder.katmatfield.com/ … but this is an emotive issue too.
I am not a passive anti-racist who will just let this one pass, because it wasn’t my country or my race, or my little britain. Actually there is a duty to call it out, however uncomfortable it makes others because actually it hurts me to see others abused. If I do not comment, then I also can ask myself, when they come for me, who will be left to for me to lean on.
If we want to #buildbackbetter, then we had better be bold about the type of world that we want to live in. For me, I want a world full of the courage to live, not the cowardice to only have the strength to survive.